I feel so retarded now,
wonder why I'm so weak ):
even have to blog while lying on my bed.
Blew up the date with carrie babe,
I am so sorry ):
Mad early in the morning,
the aircon repairman had to come knocking on my door and there, all the drilling starts. Horror! The house was super messy and dust were flying everywhere. I think those dust made my throat felt even worst. Headache!!
I haven't had fainting spells for a very long while, and today I experienced it again ):
Hate this feeling, I think I need a nap.
Okay I know I sound like a whiner now,
but i cant help it ):
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
4am in the morning,
yes i am still up.
however, i feel so much better now, as compared to those emotions i was having 2 hours ago when i wrote that previous entry.
whatever i am going to share is going to be something personal.
if you're not interested, i suggest you stop reading starting from this point :)
i dont need nasty comments, but if you've positive ones to share, you're definitely welcome :)
i thank god that ive an elder brother.
he always make me understand & see things from another perspective.
i dont deny sometimes i really dislike sitting down to talk about my future because i always end up giving them a standard answer, & that is "i am still not sure".
now, i dont dislike it as much anymore.
i know what i want, & i definitely know who is on my side.
i am still taking things slowly at a step to ensure that that's what i really want, but at the same time keeping in mind not to use this as an excuse to waste anymore precious time.
well, some people only came to realise what they really want when they're 25 or even 28.
i'm only 20, still considered young, at least to me.
i should really spend time wisely to discover what i really want, isnt it?
it might take me years to discover it, however, while in the process of doing so, i would have already experience alot of different things.
i am sure i will certainly learn something out of it.
reality is harsh,
its hard to accept,
but you really have to find a way.
some learn it through the hard way, and i have to admit i belong to one of them.
i always thank you for making me realised ive neglect alot of things around me, esp kinship. as well as, knowing that ive not push myself enough to realise what i am capable of doing.
i do regret all the mistakes ive made, but i will never let it happen again.
i am taking this as a learning phase.
ever since that incident about poly selection, i realised a big change in me.
i wouldnt want to elaborate further, but thinking of it, its really pretty horrible.
i guess i was just too complacent.
apart from knowing more friends and maybe picking up some new skills during my poly times, i would say other than that, i have wasted 3years of my life.
i could have achieved a better gpa but, i didnt put in my best. (lesson learnt)
there's a great opportunity waiting for me in January & i really hope to see some achievements.
i want to call it my 'New Life'.
i know it sounds cliche, but i guess only my brother and some close friends understands what i meant by that.
its not about making big money, its just that i wanna see myself taking a bigger step to make decisions on my own and achieve something in my life.
i guess, its really important to grab hold of opportunities that are being offered to you.
it doesnt happen all the time, and so, this spirit should always be with you and that is 'NEVER SAY NEVER!' & 'NEVER GIVE UP!' :)
everyone needs a lil` push.
even if people around you doesnt supports you,
bear in mind, your kins will.
well, at least i am thankful that my family are my pillars of support :)
they're always there for me, full of encouragements.
this definitely serves as a form motivation, i swear :)
for now, and always, i am gonna put them first on my list.
life is very unpredictable.
you'll never know what's going to happen, so why not just live everyday as fruitful as possible?
i believed nobody will want to leave this world full of regrets, or even coming to realise that, you didnt make any worthy contributions in life.
am i right?
i really do cherish what i have now.
everything, every single thing :)
because i know i am so much more fortunate compared to some others,
& because i know how it feels to lose someone precious.
i wish that my grandparents can grow old with me, however i know its never possible.
because i understand that someday, everyone will depart from this world.
so i tell myself, as long as they're with me, i'll treasure them :)
at least when the day comes, i will have no regrets.
i really wish my brother and his family wont have to move out.
but i understand this is part & parcel of life, and i definitely am aware that this bond will stay as strong, and stronger as days passes us by :)
to end this post,
i just wanna say,
i love every single one of you that have left footprints in my heart (:
all of you will always be part of me (:
thank you for always staying by me, be it my family, cousins or friends.
xoxo.
♥
however, i feel so much better now, as compared to those emotions i was having 2 hours ago when i wrote that previous entry.
whatever i am going to share is going to be something personal.
if you're not interested, i suggest you stop reading starting from this point :)
i dont need nasty comments, but if you've positive ones to share, you're definitely welcome :)
i thank god that ive an elder brother.
he always make me understand & see things from another perspective.
i dont deny sometimes i really dislike sitting down to talk about my future because i always end up giving them a standard answer, & that is "i am still not sure".
now, i dont dislike it as much anymore.
i know what i want, & i definitely know who is on my side.
i am still taking things slowly at a step to ensure that that's what i really want, but at the same time keeping in mind not to use this as an excuse to waste anymore precious time.
well, some people only came to realise what they really want when they're 25 or even 28.
i'm only 20, still considered young, at least to me.
i should really spend time wisely to discover what i really want, isnt it?
it might take me years to discover it, however, while in the process of doing so, i would have already experience alot of different things.
i am sure i will certainly learn something out of it.
reality is harsh,
its hard to accept,
but you really have to find a way.
some learn it through the hard way, and i have to admit i belong to one of them.
i always thank you for making me realised ive neglect alot of things around me, esp kinship. as well as, knowing that ive not push myself enough to realise what i am capable of doing.
i do regret all the mistakes ive made, but i will never let it happen again.
i am taking this as a learning phase.
ever since that incident about poly selection, i realised a big change in me.
i wouldnt want to elaborate further, but thinking of it, its really pretty horrible.
i guess i was just too complacent.
apart from knowing more friends and maybe picking up some new skills during my poly times, i would say other than that, i have wasted 3years of my life.
i could have achieved a better gpa but, i didnt put in my best. (lesson learnt)
there's a great opportunity waiting for me in January & i really hope to see some achievements.
i want to call it my 'New Life'.
i know it sounds cliche, but i guess only my brother and some close friends understands what i meant by that.
its not about making big money, its just that i wanna see myself taking a bigger step to make decisions on my own and achieve something in my life.
i guess, its really important to grab hold of opportunities that are being offered to you.
it doesnt happen all the time, and so, this spirit should always be with you and that is 'NEVER SAY NEVER!' & 'NEVER GIVE UP!' :)
everyone needs a lil` push.
even if people around you doesnt supports you,
bear in mind, your kins will.
well, at least i am thankful that my family are my pillars of support :)
they're always there for me, full of encouragements.
this definitely serves as a form motivation, i swear :)
for now, and always, i am gonna put them first on my list.
life is very unpredictable.
you'll never know what's going to happen, so why not just live everyday as fruitful as possible?
i believed nobody will want to leave this world full of regrets, or even coming to realise that, you didnt make any worthy contributions in life.
am i right?
i really do cherish what i have now.
everything, every single thing :)
because i know i am so much more fortunate compared to some others,
& because i know how it feels to lose someone precious.
i wish that my grandparents can grow old with me, however i know its never possible.
because i understand that someday, everyone will depart from this world.
so i tell myself, as long as they're with me, i'll treasure them :)
at least when the day comes, i will have no regrets.
i really wish my brother and his family wont have to move out.
but i understand this is part & parcel of life, and i definitely am aware that this bond will stay as strong, and stronger as days passes us by :)
to end this post,
i just wanna say,
i love every single one of you that have left footprints in my heart (:
all of you will always be part of me (:
thank you for always staying by me, be it my family, cousins or friends.
xoxo.
♥
Poison
should i pop panadols again?
my head is spinning like mad ):
today was supposed to be a happy day, it shouldnt end this way.
i'd so much fun bonding with my family, it was awesome.
supposed to go JB for seafood soon, but babysam is sick.
well, i am too anyway ):
my sleeping hours is screwed,
i fell asleep after eating my first dosage at 11plus,
i woke up at god knows what time,
and felt all empty.
i tried to fall back to sleep,
i couldnt.
now i feel hungry, at 4am -.-
all screwed.
what's happening?
i need to tune it back.
as much as i feel something's not right,
i am looking forward to tues, wed, thurs & sat (:
i know they will make me happy.
my head is spinning like mad ):
today was supposed to be a happy day, it shouldnt end this way.
i'd so much fun bonding with my family, it was awesome.
supposed to go JB for seafood soon, but babysam is sick.
well, i am too anyway ):
my sleeping hours is screwed,
i fell asleep after eating my first dosage at 11plus,
i woke up at god knows what time,
and felt all empty.
i tried to fall back to sleep,
i couldnt.
now i feel hungry, at 4am -.-
all screwed.
what's happening?
i need to tune it back.
as much as i feel something's not right,
i am looking forward to tues, wed, thurs & sat (:
i know they will make me happy.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Girls just wanna have fun ♥
xoxoxo is love! :D
martini made us go half-drunk.
but seriously, apricot/almond martini sucks to the core.
still, we'd fun.
more after the exam periods :D
RAH-RAH-AH-AH-AH, GAGA-OOH-LA-LA LOL!
martini made us go half-drunk.
but seriously, apricot/almond martini sucks to the core.
still, we'd fun.
more after the exam periods :D
RAH-RAH-AH-AH-AH, GAGA-OOH-LA-LA LOL!
lastly, to my dearest babe.
sincere apologies ya!
love you the same!
& it wont happen again (:
Thursday, November 19, 2009
It's been lovely,
to enjoy the present,
because im no longer stuck in my past (:
-
bought alot alot of things these few days.
hehhee, needa save seriously! ;p
its finally friday tomorrow yay!
no physio, no driving lessons.
but im really glad im meeting all my beloved girlies.
gonna paint my nails!! :D
babychanelle is so cute, she smiled to me twice today!
kids makes me happy!
anyway i really want a miniature white maltese!!
i cant resist them, they're so cute!!
who wants to buy me one? lol.
on a sidenote, its just 5more days.
xoxo.
goodnight.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Kai xin jiu hao (:
i think its okay to be paranoid sometimes ;p
i am so glad i applied it ytd lol !
if not i cant imagine what will happen to the both of us.
anyway i really enjoy supper session with eils babe. xoxo!
these few days been great! :D
shopping really makes me happy, i get to buy stuffs i likeeeee!
spending time with my family makes me happier!
driving makes me happy too, cant wait to get my license!!!
life's great.
seriously, kai xin jiu hao!
who agrees? :)
i am so glad i applied it ytd lol !
if not i cant imagine what will happen to the both of us.
anyway i really enjoy supper session with eils babe. xoxo!
these few days been great! :D
shopping really makes me happy, i get to buy stuffs i likeeeee!
spending time with my family makes me happier!
driving makes me happy too, cant wait to get my license!!!
life's great.
seriously, kai xin jiu hao!
who agrees? :)
lastly, this is how i will look in the future when im a mother of 2 lol lol.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
F*ck you.
the more i think about it,
the more i feel pissed.
seriously she's getting on my nerves!
i think youre the one who needs to reflect!!
i'm mean like that,
whether you like it or not (:
the more i feel pissed.
seriously she's getting on my nerves!
i think youre the one who needs to reflect!!
i'm mean like that,
whether you like it or not (:
The truth is
ive never like you.
i put on a mask whenever i see you.
i give you the slightest respect because i dont want to shame you.
so, dont fucking judge a person just by the slightest thing you see from the surface.
you dont have the rights, because your personality wasnt even good to start with.
a gentle reminder,
do not think too highly of yourself.
i put on a mask whenever i see you.
i give you the slightest respect because i dont want to shame you.
so, dont fucking judge a person just by the slightest thing you see from the surface.
you dont have the rights, because your personality wasnt even good to start with.
a gentle reminder,
do not think too highly of yourself.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Powerpack.
"supper loving! hahah.
last minute decision to head down to double o.
TO EAT BA KUT TEH.
actually it's not very nice la. but just got the urge, so went to eat!
and that's the only bak kut teh i know that's open at midnight.
HAHA.
awesome!
bitched and chatted with cheng.
at first was really pissed and turned off with her,
AFRAID OF GOING TO NTUC TO WITHDRAW MONEY.
like ccb la, afraid simi lan.
but it turns out goody good good.
bak kut teh taste normal,
but company was kan orgasmic.
i read this somewhere recently -
'procrastination is like masturbation. u enjoy the process, yet at the end, u realized u got fucked.'
HAHAHAHA SIBEI TRUE SIA.
i really love cheng.
cos we managed to laugh non stop,
at her maggie mee order with her mother.
discussing about love life.
and bitching about some 贱货(s)
im happy cos she makes me happy!
anyway cheng!
i'll wait for u to pose as disgustingly as ** in clubs!
and be ** wannabe ok!
I WILL LAUGH AT YOU.
i really will.
gotta thank TU for driving us there,
and driving us back.
AWESOME.
TU has been driving me around alot.
thanks! ^___^
*give u fat smile*
im really happy.
should meet up with that bitch more.
provided she stop turning me off.
TURN ME ON LA CCB.
muacks.
lubx euu deep deep forevaz and evaxzxzx."
last minute decision to head down to double o.
TO EAT BA KUT TEH.
actually it's not very nice la. but just got the urge, so went to eat!
and that's the only bak kut teh i know that's open at midnight.
HAHA.
awesome!
bitched and chatted with cheng.
at first was really pissed and turned off with her,
AFRAID OF GOING TO NTUC TO WITHDRAW MONEY.
like ccb la, afraid simi lan.
but it turns out goody good good.
bak kut teh taste normal,
but company was kan orgasmic.
i read this somewhere recently -
'procrastination is like masturbation. u enjoy the process, yet at the end, u realized u got fucked.'
HAHAHAHA SIBEI TRUE SIA.
i really love cheng.
cos we managed to laugh non stop,
at her maggie mee order with her mother.
discussing about love life.
and bitching about some 贱货(s)
im happy cos she makes me happy!
anyway cheng!
i'll wait for u to pose as disgustingly as ** in clubs!
and be ** wannabe ok!
I WILL LAUGH AT YOU.
i really will.
gotta thank TU for driving us there,
and driving us back.
AWESOME.
TU has been driving me around alot.
thanks! ^___^
*give u fat smile*
im really happy.
should meet up with that bitch more.
provided she stop turning me off.
TURN ME ON LA CCB.
muacks.
lubx euu deep deep forevaz and evaxzxzx."
i love you babe! :D
more more more!!
some parts of the entry was deleted,
because i only wanna focus on the things she wrote about me!! lol ;p
bff xoxo!
really enjoyed myself teehee.
high high into the skyyyy!!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The unexpected.
finally 4 theory lessons cleared! (:
happy ttm, i survived 400minutes in total!!
happy ttm, i survived 400minutes in total!!
which means its one more step nearer to getting my license yay!
im like a pro now, tt explains the above pic (okay kidding -.-)
alot of money spend on cab fares just to get my butt down to bbdc to clear those lessons.
alot of money spend on cab fares just to get my butt down to bbdc to clear those lessons.
oh gosh! i think close to $150 :\
this is bad, needa control!!!
shopping is awesome!
especially with my mommy around hahaha.
we'll always eye on cosmetics, heels & bags. oopsyy!
so great to have a mom that has almost the same taste as me!! :)
today's friday,
actually it doesnt make a lot of difference, since im not working now.
everyday seems to be weekends :\ hahhaa.
argghhh something is getting on my nerves.
come on, stop testing my patience.
i dont want to know!!
ciaos.
tomorrow will be a even happier day!
& i'm so craving for subwayyyy!!!
-
dirty lil secrets.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Mad excited.
driving lesson was super fun!
how i wish i can get the same instructor the next time round.
awww! ): i pray i pray lol!!
he's super nice & all, hahah can blabber any shit with you.
mad hilarious!!! at least i dont feel stress (:
however, the slots are so fully booked that my next lesson can only be on 15th dec.
wth!! that's like so long later ):
gonna top up my account again and block as many slots as possible!!
hahah sounds horribly kiasu but i really wanna get my license asap!!!! :D:D
well, im still thinking about tonight!! lol.
yes or no leh?
bahhh!!
i still have lessons tmr somemore.
2 more to go, 200mins.
nevermind, endureeeeee! :D
how i wish i can get the same instructor the next time round.
awww! ): i pray i pray lol!!
he's super nice & all, hahah can blabber any shit with you.
mad hilarious!!! at least i dont feel stress (:
however, the slots are so fully booked that my next lesson can only be on 15th dec.
wth!! that's like so long later ):
gonna top up my account again and block as many slots as possible!!
hahah sounds horribly kiasu but i really wanna get my license asap!!!! :D:D
well, im still thinking about tonight!! lol.
yes or no leh?
bahhh!!
i still have lessons tmr somemore.
2 more to go, 200mins.
nevermind, endureeeeee! :D
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Meet me halfway
lesson was fine, but 3 more to go!
100mins each, quick let me get this over & done with.
hahaa, cant wait to get started :D
well, lesson 2 tmr, hope it will be interesting hehhee.
short & sweet meetup.
but you made me waste alot of money roaming around cwp just waiting for you!!!
still, i love you cousieeeeee :D
meet up again soon!!
lastly, i believe i can get my bag, my wristlet and the specs!
I BELIEVE! lol :\
xoxo.
ciaos.
100mins each, quick let me get this over & done with.
hahaa, cant wait to get started :D
well, lesson 2 tmr, hope it will be interesting hehhee.
short & sweet meetup.
but you made me waste alot of money roaming around cwp just waiting for you!!!
still, i love you cousieeeeee :D
meet up again soon!!
lastly, i believe i can get my bag, my wristlet and the specs!
I BELIEVE! lol :\
xoxo.
ciaos.
Deep thoughts
life is really unpredictable.
we have to learn how to cherish things around us.
i believe many have already realised that things around us keeps changing.
well, the constant thing in life is change, isnt it?
sometimes the only choice left, might just be, to adapt.
when we finally come to the day that we know we've brave through it,
that's how we see ourselves as a much stronger person.
we have to learn how to cherish things around us.
i believe many have already realised that things around us keeps changing.
well, the constant thing in life is change, isnt it?
sometimes the only choice left, might just be, to adapt.
when we finally come to the day that we know we've brave through it,
that's how we see ourselves as a much stronger person.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Awesome much?
seriously i dont know.
let's see.
dayout with emily - AWESOME.
bag sold out - BOO
wristlet sold out - BOO
specs doesnt fit - BOO
forgot to get protective cover for ipod - BOO
still cant decide which item to get (1/2/3) - BOO
cant find the pouch i saw in store on the website - BOO
dinner with xoxoxo - AWESOME
supper with melissa - AWESOME
bumped into Tristan & Reece - INTERESTING
driving lessons tomorrow - GREAT
planned meetup with stupid cousin Roy - FINALLY
okay,
you decide.
awesome much?
well, at least it was pretty fruitful.
let's see.
dayout with emily - AWESOME.
bag sold out - BOO
wristlet sold out - BOO
specs doesnt fit - BOO
forgot to get protective cover for ipod - BOO
still cant decide which item to get (1/2/3) - BOO
cant find the pouch i saw in store on the website - BOO
dinner with xoxoxo - AWESOME
supper with melissa - AWESOME
bumped into Tristan & Reece - INTERESTING
driving lessons tomorrow - GREAT
planned meetup with stupid cousin Roy - FINALLY
okay,
you decide.
awesome much?
well, at least it was pretty fruitful.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
42 - 22 = 20
i'm just doing you a favour,
it doesnt mean anything.
anyway, i'm so looking forward to see emily babe & xoxoxo tmr :D
totally, especially after so long!!
yay yay! :D
PARTY GIRLS
PARTY GIRLLSSSS :D
-
"When it comes down to it,
I let them think what they want.
If they care enough to bother with what I do,
then I’m already better than them."
Friday, November 6, 2009
So close to my heart.
never miss cousin's bonding session, totally true.
time spend with them always makes me feel good.
i really need to emphasize, 'always' (:
it gets so crazy all the time, stomping grounds etc.
i love all of you to the core.
thank you babygirlssssss hehee.
my sister's keeper - 5/5! (:
go catch it but its really a cry-fest. haha.
silly but true, 4 of us were apparently sitting all the way at the back, sobbing lol!!
tonight or tomorrow?!
oh gosh.
still, i am so looking forward to the weekends
yayness!
hope everything goes well & we're so gonna rock it down lol! :D
my sister's keeper - 5/5! (:
go catch it but its really a cry-fest. haha.
silly but true, 4 of us were apparently sitting all the way at the back, sobbing lol!!
tonight or tomorrow?!
oh gosh.
still, i am so looking forward to the weekends
yayness!
hope everything goes well & we're so gonna rock it down lol! :D
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
take a breathe, take it deep.
you can feel my heart beating.
as those lights flashes through my eyes,
im wondering about life.
have i seen enough of sunrise?
so many wont have the chance to say goodbye,
but its too late, too late to think how you walk my life.
if i was a mistake, i hope i was your favourite.
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