Promise in the dark

Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it
It’s the simple things that you do, really hurt my feelings
The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it
This can’t work anymore, than you believe it

Goodbye may come as a shock
Even though I love you a lot
I’ve given every breath I’ve got
Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe

And how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me
Divided by so many memories
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

I just don’t know what the problem is, what the deal is
Was I there too much, did I move too fast, I couldn’t see it?
All these promises are probably how you deal with it
I’m tired of hearing you say your innocent

Don’t think I forgot
Because I really didn’t care if you’re lying a lot
I’ve given every breath I’ve got
Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe

And how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me
Divided by so many memories
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

We all make mistakes
Sometimes we do desperate things
What does it prove? NOTHING
And you never do nothing wrong

Then what took you so long, took you so long
Cuz I keep, keep hanging on, keep, keep hanging on

And how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me
Divided by so many memories
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

So don’t promise me
So don’t promise me

General,

Not everything u did out of the verge of anger will make you happy, there's a price to pay, consequences to face.
A moment of folly, a moment of satisfaction.
When you thought those had made you happy, you didn't realize how much it'd hurt as well.
When you thought you boldly done it, when you thought it could have made u felt better.
It all turned out otherwise.

All of us have got lessons to learn in life.
Some harsh, some easy, some effortlessly easy,
So please, when you wanna do smth,
consider the kinda consequences and heartache u might bring to yourself & others.

All this,
I am saying it on a general term, not directing.
And, i wouldn't deny,
I've got a lot to learn as well.

Peace out.

Give me a break.

i cant make sense out of your logic,
because i still feel those are just excuses.
you dont preach what you say,
promises are really meant to be broken anyway.

all this will come to an end.
give me a happy pill.

I need to wake up to something happy,

i don't want you to take advantage
of everything that i've given the 'yes' sign.

PMS.
yes i believed that's what's making me all angsty & upset at everyone.
i need a happy pill.

Making choices.

we shall both put in effort then.
you do your part & i'll do mine.
maybe its not as bad as i thought,
i am gonna give you & me more time to deal with all this.

i want to hold a special part in your heart,
where i've your heart & soul when you're with me.

Low low low~

this is gonna be a self-reflection entry,
you can skip it if you dont feel like reading :)

i feel like im at the lowest peak of my life now, but seriously im aware that im the one who's making myself feel so miserable. well, life goes on i know, and i shouldnt dwell into this for too long. now i'm only hoping that from now till the 20th june, miracles can happen. i would really jump for joy, but the chances are quite slim. however, i am gonna have faith for one last time. on the other hand, i really have to be prepared to handle another round of setbacks.

yes, its an issue to prove how strong i am when such things happened.
true enough, i broke down.
this just proves that im still not strong enough.

its true sometimes there's a need for someone to be harsh on you before you can step out of your comfort zone. yes, it might be me that's taking way too slow to realise all this but sometimes i do really yearn for a lil comfort before any form of words were being thrown unto me. although i understand why sometimes such situation happens, i do still feel i deserve a lil better.

time & time again, i see things in a different prospect. i know its all for my own good, but im always not given a longer time to prove ive been trying and am willing to change.

i know what i want in life, i know there's a need for me to be determined, and i need to motivate myself. who doesnt have to enter this phase of life im facing now? i know definitely there're people out there who is feeling the same. but i havent show signs that ive given up, did i?

maybe i really have to learn how to counter situations like this when my plans dont go according to what i expected.
it isnt too hard to re-plan my stuffs,
all i need is settle my own emotions, i definitely know, i just need a tiny-whiny bit of time to chuck it aside.

its not about the companion of having someone to go to school with.
if thats the case, next intake i could still have my bff, so why do i get upset?

things i thought would happen didnt happen,
but i am still thankful for the words that woke me up from my self-denial mode.

the growing up phase isnt easy, but of course i am gonna fight through it.
school, work, money, driving license, emotions, setbacks, problems, balancing of life etc.

i thank god im seeing my girlies tonight,
cooling period for me as well.

i'm still hoping :)
i'll be fine, am already accepting it.


-
but what still upsets me is,
why do you have to hide your own feelings from me?
do i not worth your time to share it with me?
or i am just not the person you wanna share your sorrows with?
or is it that it wont make a difference sharing it with me or not?
then, the question is, what am i to you?
cant i be there for you?