heartless.

weak weak weak.

the only concern now,

is my health.

i need to be a lil more meaty before i go for my operation.

whether or not i can make it out alive, i still wanna tell myself i should be strong :D

i dont wanna know anything anymore (:

i was moving on well until the silly me took the wrong step again.

i wish you well.

even if ure really seeing someone new, im glad for you since u found someone u think deserves you better.

whatever problems youve now, as a friend, i will say, jiayou!

if we're meant to be, someday we might meet again.

goodbye my love, goodbye.

i thank god for those who are willing to listen and willing to be there for me.

thank you so much.

peiru gonna start getting on her feet again :]

live life great, even if its without you.

xoxo.

dont wanna do this any longer.

its been exactly 2weeks.
and medicine is the the thing that kept revolving around me.
getting really sick of it.

i read it over and over again.
sometimes words and actions dont come together, really.
it makes me think alot and all around me, are memories of us.
but i'll always keep the lyrics of 'big girls dont cry' in my mind.

i'll still miss you like a child misses their blanket,
but im gonna move on with my life.

that is it :D

i know who will be there for me.
so i guess ive got nothing to worry (:

online shopping is so addictive,
gosh gosh gosh!

now i shall just focus on what i wanna achieve!
be strong
be healthy
eat more
driving license
work
studies
walk out of the operation theatre alive!

:D

it just concludes,
live life wisely & fruitful!
friends, family, etc ! :D
goals, motivations, etc!

PEIRU GO GO GO!

awesomeeee

i'd an awesome weekend! :D

vivi's birthday celebration was great.
the happiest day ever since 2weeks ago, whoo allaa.
their companion was awesome, as usual :D
thanks miao for sending us home at that weeeee hour. hehe
love all of you!
thank you for the support everyone.
meet up soon.

today, i went to chop my hair real real short.
hahahhaa.
those who're gonna see me soon will definitely give me that shocking look. ;p
i like it, i think.
the catching up session with my cousins were great too.
thank you for all the advises & support.
me love you all.
cant wait for the short get away!

yay yay yay
and lastly,
please let me be able to get back to work tomorrow.
my legs are wobbly with the frequent visits to the toilet :\
stomach flu hurry get well.
i rather faint in my house toilet than the office's toilet.
roarrrrr.

i know ive lost freaking alot of weight.
im gonna work on it !
waiting for mel to give me the remedy hahahhaa.

alright.
toodles, :D
cant wait for next saturday actually, shhhh.
girls our secret yea ;p

suddenly everything feels like a battlefield.

sometimes i wished to turn back time,
and do things in a better way.
but who's gonna give me the chance?

so i would say,
the remaining life i've now,
regardless how long because i never know if i will walk out of the operation alive.
so from now onwards, i really wanna have no regrets :]

shifting house soon,
agents, buyers, etc will be coming by very soon.
i guessed its true that things come & go.

i wouldnt say im alone,
because i know my family members have really been supportive.
my friends were really kind & patience enough as well.

thanks :D

but i do wonder what if i really die in there,
who will actually weep their hearts out.

oh well,
thank you for not ignoring.
but i really hope you can grant me that wish (:

weak.

god damnit!
first it was serious back strain, then fever, then spine problem reached extreme case, then now what ?!
stomach flu.

i cannot take it anymore man.
i feel tired, extremely tired.
mentally, physically, emotionally.
fuck it i say ! ):

medicine, medicine and more medicine.
):
been home for many days, facing those 4walls.
having nth to do, i feel ive distant away from the world.
i freaking dont like this.

sigh,
what to do.
get well soon then peiru -.-

can you grant me a wish?
just one before i enter that operation theatre? ):
sigh.

its been a week.

this period of time might be hard on me.
but i know i will walk through it.
spine problem, fever etc.
weak immune system etc.
once i overcome it, i know i will continue to strive hard.

i do still think of you,
but i know ive moved on quite a bit (:
really wish you well.

i'm glad i can think maturely now, really.
i wont say really VERY mature, but i would say much better than what i am in the past.

wont dwell into everything,
but of course, will still be hoping its the truth (:

lastly, i forgot to add in that i know ive neglected quite a bit of stuffs when i'm with you, but ive learnt from it and will never commit this mistake again.
likewise, i will also learn to be more independent (:

cant wait to go thailand with my mom & brother!

xoxo,
peiru

:D

heh, starting everything afresh (:

anybody wondering why its called a magical enamel? hahaa.
i was just hoping that this shiny coating that im gonna 'paint' my life with, is going to bring me to a whole new magical experience. hehhee. i know it sounds silly but who cares.

yesterday's visit to the hospital was rather scary, but i know i have to face it no matter what (:
thanks to all who have shower me with love & concern.
i could see it clearly from the way my family acted as well, i love them!
i know you'll all be there for me. hehee. thanks for the support!

my friends too, i really appreciate all of you.
i know you'll always be there for me! (:
thanks for the encouragement.

its all these obstacles that makes one stronger!
so i'm going to be one of them.
although its living life for myself now, at least in time to come, i will know what im actually capable of.
you taught me alot actually, though its through a hard way but i still wanna thank you.

i'm gonna live my life strong, gonna find back my directions in life.
work, swim twice a week for the better of my spine, driving license, and gonna study the next year (:
alot will be added into this list as time goes by, i wanna climb my way up slowly. hehee.

ever since the day i thought to myself and wrote the letter,
or even talking to a couple of people, i finally realised that i really need to change my attitude and character somehow.
some self-reflection needed here,
i will never forget what you guys have advised me :]
no more being fickle-minded, no more finding excuses for myself, no more of being extremely stubborn.
i must learn how to see things from a wider picture, give myself time to cool down and analyse things accordingly (:

in fact i've learnt alot from this relationship,
i ought to thank you as well (:
i wish you well, and i'll live life hard & well.
no worries, i take a step everyday, and im no longer crying.
i can say i can now face you as a friend.
hope things are doing fine at your side too.
all this are sincere, the memories we'd will definitely linger but i know i will move on.
thank you once again, i hope as years passes by, we'll still be able to greet each other with a smile.
lastly, the impression of you will stay at the point where i knew you in the very beginning :D because i truly believe you arent like this.
i will still say, you're really a man with a strong goal & you really know what youre striving for!
do stay happy & take care! (:


i might have regrets along the way,
but im not gonna let it happen anymore.
will live life well & fruitful! (:
i'm glad my mommy & sis-in-law understands me, i'm glad some of my friends commented that i'm much independent & am able to think in a much more mature way too.

xoxo,
peiru (:


-
P.S: will get a nicer skin soon.