This is ME.

expectations;
you've yours,
i've mine.

passive & active,
you taught me this.
i kept that in mine.
i hope you do so too.

Hidden.

linger?
haunting?
over?

You're my light in the darkness, breathing hope of a new life

give all your hope to me.

i'm trying to look strong,
but deep down, i need more than this
dont make me seem insignificant to you.
am i not on the priority list as compared to the many things u have to deal with?
sometimes i avoid, i never wanna try creating a topic to talk to you with fear to know how small a part i play in your life.
or do you not show?
if thats the case, i'd like to be freed.
freed from all this doubts and assumptions i made.

-

yes this is how horrifying it looks now.
& so, im only left with 1 choice.

i tried to brush it off,
to think positive.

maybe ive reached the point of my life that requires me to really be strong, be independent.
maybe its time i think deep enough about what i really want in life.
maybe it has made clearer now that my life is getting more challenging.
maybe god planned it this way, he wants me to learn.

i wanted to give up everything around me when i heard of this.
i forced a smile, i joked, telling you everything is fine.
but deep down, my heart is weeping.
i really wonder why do i have so much health issues.

gonna make good use of this 2months before this crucial thing.
now that this is finally decided,
i ought to prioritise my stuffs properly.

1. TP
2. Advance 21st Birthday Celebration
3. OP
4. PT SIM Business Mngt
5. Work when everything's stable.

i so wanna go Genting & Sentosa, play all the rides again before i cant do so.
& curb all my cravings before the crucial thing.
most imptly, i really pin high hopes on no. 1 - 3!!

i am praying hard,
that everything goes fine.

P.S: be my perfect lullaby.

More happy moments please!

Jan happenings;
this is yet another late post,
hehee but im still smiling to myself when i thought of it :)
will post piccas when i have them.

♥ lance's wedding & time spent with CPF colleagues.
♥ a day spend with nieces & ks
♥ dayout with carrie sweet
♥ happy days; prawning, activities, meetups etc.
♥ happy 1st!
♥ making of mango sago dessert!


anyway, i miss so many people!!
1) my xoxoxo, but im too caught up with friday's hospital appt & am too broke to club. sigh! any alternatives babes?
2) my cousins, and i shall meet up with carrie one of this days in the weekdays and the rest on sunday!
3) my w66p clique, gonna plan another outing asap, miss them alr, since the last meet up i blew up cause i was unwell.
4) emily&co, gonna go plan a meetup soon as well! :)
5) colleagues, shall see when im free to meet them for lunch, miss golden bridge's fish soup!

on a happier note, tmr's last lesson for driving.
but its more like a mock TP test.
so wish me luck!! :)

alright, friday please go well!
but i know its still more likely that the OP will be the best decision ):

ciaos,
hopefully feb will be a better month!
a new phase of life after friday's decision.

Memories?

To forget is just an interpretation. An immeasurable love’s memories can never be wiped off. Time doesn’t devour memories: It just slowly, painfully converts it into fragments of a dream. Occasionally, something will spark the wrath of the dream, and the dream will alter into a memory again.

This is life, and it can be a struggle sometimes.

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and changing a soul. And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead… and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. So you plant your own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and that you really do have worth… and with every goodbye, you learn.

/via Runwaytrain

Hello 2010, Goodbye 2009.

heart as one,
everything can be solved.
they say its no point crying,
because it doesnt help to lighten the load.
so, i'm gonna be strong.
be on my own,
step out,
make them proud.


2010 gonna be a better year i hope!
forget about new year resolutions because i will never ever fulfill them.
but im gonna make it fruitful, must!
i wont be reflecting much on 2009 here,
if not i am sure im gonna bore all of you with a whole chunk of words.
however, in short, i wont be committing the same mistakes i did in 2009.
no more regrets, or whatsoever (:

(just wanna be happy)

-

4issues always hindering me,

but im gonna checked them out one by one.

independence baby, i can do it!

go go go!

anyway im very much into psychology now,

no idea why, but many are telling me its not easy.

so should i go ahead or should i continue the thought of studying business related stuffs?

or should i teach? hehhee.

sometimes this topic makes me excited but yet, stress.

no reflection like i said,

but still, i wanna end this with.

i love my family, my cousins/relatives, friends.

in case i miss out any, in short,

i simply love all my love ones!

P.S i like how my hair colour is turning red (: